As Seen On Nairaland Today: 10 Categories Of Jobs That Deplete People's Chances Of Making Heaven

I was just minding my business this Sunday evening until I came across this hilarious but serious article published on Nairaland Do you think your job may lead you to heaven or hell? Question is, what do you do? Well, here are categories of jobs listed by Nairaland people do that may make or mar their chances of making heaven. Abeg follow me laugh. 

1. Politics 

Even though the Bible says we should not judge others; personally speaking and generally

summarizing, our politicians have little chances of making heaven. This is because the world of politics is a different world on its own where all sorts of atrocities are performed. One of my lectures, before he passed on, always said that an average politician is a looter and can kill
to find his way to the top

2. Police 

We all know that the larger percent of our policemen are very cunning and dubious. They are always using devious ways to get money. Some of them will arrest innocent civilians on the streets and will force them to write report of guilt. To find a policemen who doesn't accept bribe, is likened to finding the actual amount of money looted by GEJ during his tenure


3. NEPA 

Next in rank are NEPA officials. These ones share the same characteristics with our policemen. NEPA officials, who occupy top positions are always very rich. This is because they collect bribes and manipulate figures of paid electricity bills, hence, riding exotic cars. Let's not forget the ones who will go and rent ladders and will come to your house for bribery

4. Yahoo Yahoo 

"Yahoo yahoo" is a modernised name for 419. Since it is what people venture into which puts food on their tables, then it can also be said to be a job to them cheesy . These people will always justify their 419 acts, saying that they are collecting back our money from the colonial masters who milked us dry of our crude oil during the colonial era. However, these people are also hovering at every hotel, spending extravagantly on hot drinks and prostitutes. This people have little chances of making heaven

5. Phone sellers 

Especially those ones you will see at Computer village selling stolen phones on the street. They will lie that their brother from the UK sent the phones to them, when it fact, it was stolen. Some of them will quote Bibles verses just to get you convinced that their purpose of selling a particular fone, is because they want to use the money to settle school bills

6. Lecturing 

This may not be 100% valid but to some extent, it is. It's very difficult to find a lecturer in our tertiary institutions who doesn't at least womanize nor accept bribe. However, some of them don't womanizer but accept bribes and vice versa. Some of them are neither collect bribes nor womanize, but they are sadist. Their chances of making heaven is 1000 odds

7. Banking Jobs 

Bankers also have little chances of making heaven. This is because most of our bankers are somewhat dubious and also use duress to flirt and coerce female job seekers into doing what they would ordinarily not do on a normal day. Let's also not forget the fact that some of them even withdraw money from customers who have got huge amount of money in their accounts. The last time N300 vanished from my account, I proceeded to the manager's office and started raining curses on him 


8. Customer Care 

These people are naturally born liars. Especially MTN customer agents who are very skillful when it comes to deceiving customers, especially when you call to complain about the deductions from your account. They will lie to you that the machine for running through your account is not coming up, and that you should give a call back in the next 24 hours. This is because they are clueless about your situation and can't help.


9. Blogging/Journalism 

These people will always come up with cooked up stories just to attract views. Some of them will come up with untrue stories about anointed men of God, just to attract views and make cool cash. Their chances of making heaven is quite slim

10. Feel free to add yours 
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